The Problem With Us
by Gazlover12-Canada
Summary: AU: Ritsu Onodera didn't like to consider himself as an unstable person. He knew what should have happened when he took all those pills. He just didn't expect to live. Now he's stuck in a psychiatric hospital. As each day passes, his will to live darkens. When he gets a new roommate, things change. All normal pairings, and Junjo Romantica characters are included. Rating may go up!
1. Chapter 1

**Warning: This story contains serious themes such as depression, eating disorders, drug abuse, and self harm. **

Ritsu Onodera didn't like to consider himself as an unstable person. He knew what he wanted and what he didn't want in life. He knew what would happen when he took all those pills. The only problem was that the situation didn't turn out how he'd planned, which was why he was still alive. It was also the reason he was being held against his will in a psychiatric hospital.

It wasn't exactly a horrible place. Maybe that was because he was in the adolescent ward, since he was only fifteen after all. He had his own bedroom, and he was allowed to have books to read. The food as okay, and the doctors and nurses were nice. But it wasn't what he wanted. He was supposed to be gone. He'd had everything planned so perfectly. A note to his mother and father, most of his possessions already packed and stored in the closet...everything had been so perfect.

He'd been here for two weeks now. He still had a long way to go. They hadn't given him a specific estimate on when he'd be out of here, but considering the fact that he still wanted to be dead, it would probably be awhile. It was impossible to fool those stupidly smart doctors.

"Onodera-kun, your mother is here to see you," Koharu, one of the nurses on duty today, told him from the doorway of his room. She was in her thirties and had bright red hair tied in a bun.

Ritsu at first tried to ignore her, holding his book higher in front of his face to block her from view. This happened several times a week. His mother would request to see him, and he would refuse to see her. He really just couldn't bear to look at her face. She probably just wanted to scold him, or she might be just disappointed in him.

"Honey, she told me she really wants to see you," Koharu tried again. "She says she has a present for you."

Finally fed up, he glared at her. "Tell mother that I said no thank you."

The nurse looked at him for a few seconds in silence before sighing. "Alright, I guess not today then. But I expect to see you out for dinner in twenty minutes young man. Okay?"

"Fine," Ritsu replied disdainfully.

When dinner time did roll around, he obediently left him room and emerged in the dining room. He went to sit next to his two "friends" Kisa Shouta and Chiaki Yoshino. They had both been here longer than he had.

Kisa was actually the oldest patient in the ward, despite looking like the youngest. He was a baby faced eighteen year old who refused to eat much more than a bite or two each day. He was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa. Ritsu wondered why on earth he would be so determined to be skinny. He was already so small and good looking to begin with.

Chiaki didn't have an eating disorder, but he was still underweight. At the age of sixteen, he was severely depressed or something. Ritsu didn't know too much about his situation, but it was hard to miss the bandages always wrapped around his wrists, and the slowly healing scars that the others sometimes caught glimpses of.

"Ricchan!" Kisa greeted him cheerfully. "Do you want half of my sandwich?"

"Last time you 'shared' your food with me, we both got in trouble." Ritsu reminded him. "Besides, they're watching you right now."

Kisa turned his head in the direction that Ritsu was looking towards and paled. His doctor was looking at him with a frown. Kisa quickly brought his sandwich to his mouth and took a tiny nibble.

"This is a pretty good meal. I've always liked ham and cheese sandwiches," Chiaki spoke softly, taking a large bite of his own.

Ritsu looked down at his own sandwich. He really wasn't feeling too hungry, but it was better to eat. Not eating your meal here was frowned upon, even if you didn't have an eating disorder. It would only result in a longer stay and more counseling.

"Hey Chiaki, look who's watching you!" Kisa said with a snicker. All three boys turned around, and Chiaki gave a small yelp.

Hatori Yoshiyuki was in here for his addiction to narcotics. He'd been in withdrawal for sometime now, and the worst was over. Apparently he and Chiaki's families were friends, so they had sort of known each other.

"Do you think he wants me to go sit with him?" Chiaki wondered aloud. "I mean, he sort of looks lonely all by himself at that table. Does he look like he wants company? Maybe that's why he's looking at me?"

Ritsu was zoning out from Chiaki's words. He was instead focused on what was going on in the hallway. One of the orderlies was holding the arm of a tall teenage boy who did not look very happy. He was wearing a hospital gown, which meant he must be being transferred here from one of the upper floors. Another orderly followed them closely, holding a fresh pair of clothes and some bedsheets.

Much to his dismay, they were heading straight towards Ritsu's room! The brown haired youth quickly jumped up from his seat and headed over, but Koharu spotted him and caught his arm before he would make his way over.

"Onodera-kun, don't go in there right now." She warned him. "You know that you're obligated to share a room eventually. This boy doesn't need your attitude right now. I think once you get to know him you'll find out that you have a lot in common with him."

"But I like being alone!" Ritsu protested. "I need peace and quiet to read!"

"Who knows, maybe he likes to read," The red haired nurse nurse said, escorting Ritsu back to his seat. Her attention was turned over to Kisa. "Young man, don't think that you can get away with hiding your food in your napkin! Do you need to have a chat with Doctor Yoshida again?"

"But I already ate four bites! And I drank half my milk!"

Group therapy always took place straight after dinner three times a week. It was the worst part of the day, because you had to share your thoughts and feelings with everyone. Technically they couldn't force you to talk, but if you didn't talk then you didn't earn points. Points were important. They allowed Ritsu trips to the hospital library, and other rewards.

Doctor Nowaki did the group therapy. He was actually a pediatrician who worked on the upper floors of the hospital, but he came down here three times a week to hold the sessions for one hour. Ritsu actually liked him; he was always really cheerful and a genuinely caring guy.

Ritsu half wondered if the new kid would be attending therapy tonight, but decided against it. When he himself had first arrived it had taken a week for them to finally persuade him to attend, and that was only so he could have his books. Sure enough, when he took his seat in the circle, there was no sign of the new boy.

"How was everyone's dinner?" Nowaki asked.

"Good!" Chiaki said. Ritsu wondered how a kid who was seemingly so happy could in reality be so depressed.

"It was okay," Kisa said sulkily.

"I heard you got a point taken off your chart for attempting to hide your dinner. Would you like to talk about that?" Nowaki prompted.

"I ate more than I usually do at dinner! They wanted to boost me up to eating half of my plate rather than a third like normal! I can't do that!" Kisa defended himself. Nowaki wrote something down on a clipboard and then looked back up.

"Hatori-kun, what have you been up to today?" Nowaki asked.

"Nothing much. They really need more things to do here."

"I'll talk with them about that," Nowaki promised. "You've been doing really well, so maybe we can make some compromises."

Everyone nodded and muttered in enthusiasm. There was never much to do here. Arts and crafts, yard time, an occasional movie night, or reading. But those things became boring and repetitive.

"Onodera-kun," The doctor's blue eyes met his. Damn. "What about you? Did you finish your newest book yet?"

"Yes," He answered shortly. "And I'm also getting a roommate. Can't you talk to somebody and have him moved somewhere else?"

Naturally everyone perked up at this news.

"Sorry, but there's nothing I can do about it," Nowaki put his hands up. "But listen Onodera-kun, you'll have to get along with him. If you do, then it might just help in your own recovery process."

"I don't have anything to recover from," Ritsu muttered, arms crossed. Nowaki looked at him for a moment, but then switched topics. For the rest of the session Ritsu didn't talk, but when it was over Nowaki held him behind.

"You know Ritsu," The tall cheerful doctor said, unusually somber. "I'd really like it if you gave Takano Masamune a chance. There's a reason he was put into your room."

Ritsu's curiosity got the better of him. "What's the reason?"

Nowaki put a hand on his shoulder. "You'll just have to figure that out yourself. Good night Onodera-kun."

Ritsu watched as the doctor walked out of the room. He gave a big sigh, but decided that he needed to face things head on. He slowly walked towards the direction of his (not so much anymore) room.

**Review please, if you would like this to continue.**

**For the record, I didn't put this as a crossover because the characters from Junjo Romantica (more will show up) do not play nearly as big a part of the story as our Sekaiichi Hatsukoi boys do. **

**I've usually only written humor fics for this fandom, so I'm not sure if this is good or not. Hopefully some of you enjoyed it. Thank you for taking the time to read it regardless! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

_When Ritsu had awoken in the hospital, it had been the most devastating thing he'd ever been through. The hours after that had been devastating. He'd sort of panicked upon realizing that he was still alive, so he'd jumped from the bed and tried to escape from the hospital. He'd only made it about halfway down the hall before the doctors had caught up with him. He had been transferred from the ICU and to the mental health unit the following day. _

Chapter 2:

When Ritsu entered his room, he wasn't exactly sure what he had been expecting. It was dim, and at first he couldn't make out the figure that was on the bed located across the room from his. The teen was sitting on the end of it, knees drawn to his chest. Ritsu sighed, and then flicked the lights on.

His new roommate didn't even look up.

Ritsu suddenly felt nervous. Should he say something? The kid probably didn't want to talk; nobody did on their first night here. Maybe he should just ignore him and go to bed...but he wanted to read for awhile first.

Well, he might as well be polite. Clearing his throat, Ritsu said, "Look, my name is Onodera Ritsu. This has been my room for two whole weeks. I guess I don't mind sharing, but I like time to read in the evenings. So I'm keeping the light on…"

No response. He quickly padded across the room to his bed, where his book was laying face down like he had left it. As the seconds ticked by, he felt very awkward. He snuck a peek over and found to his surprise that he was being stared at. Blushing a brilliant red, he took a deep breath.

"D-Do you have to stare at me like that? It's weird." There was no reply, so Ritsu began to feel self conscious. "Um...I'm going to turn the light off now."

Doing so, he then laid back and closed his eyes, trying to pretend that he was alone. Of course he would get the creepiest roommate in the whole unit.

…

"So Ricchan, aren't you going to introduce us to your new roommate?" Kisa of course had to make the following morning very awkward as they all filed into the dining area for breakfast. Takano had been trailing not far behind Ritsu, so he of course heard Kisa as well. Before Ritsu could even open his mouth to answer, his new roomate beat him too it.

Giving a charming smile and holding out his hand, the newest patient said, "I'm Takano Masamune, it is a pleasure to meet you."

Both Kisa and Chiaki grinned, shaking the handsome teen's hand. Ritsu, however, stood gaping at the scene playing before him. Takano hadn't even said one word to him last night, and now he was just going around introducing himself to strangers? How insulting! With a huff, he left the group of teens and went to the counter to receive his medication and breakfast.

He wasn't too keen on being forced to take antidepressants, but he would play along for now, until they released him. Once that happened, he wasn't sure exactly what he'd do. His parents would probably be even more disappointed than ever. He would still likely be better off dead.

"Hey, you walked off," A voice stirred him from his morbid thoughts. "Are you always this rude?"

Ritsu glared. "Rude? You didn't even say a word to me last night!"

"You didn't sound very welcoming."

Unable to think of anything to say, Ritsu didn't respond. By then they had both arrived at the counter. Ritsu downed his pills in one go, and then grabbed a tray with waffles and fruit. He discreetly watched as Takano took his food, but refused the pills that a nurse tried to give him.

"The longer you refuse, the longer you'll be here," He couldn't help but say.

Takano raised an eyebrow. "Are my decisions any of your business?"

"No," Ritsu said with a glare, but his eyes were a little soft and he felt his cheeks turn red. "I guess not

It was a little annoying having Takano follow him to his table, but he didn't protest. They both ate their food in silence until Kisa and Chiaki joined them. Kisa's breakfast only consisted of one small waffle and three apple slices, but he moaned and pushed the tray away from him.

"We have group therapy this morning," Chiaki broke the slightly awkward silence. "And tonight we're playing board games!"

Ritsu felt his spirits lighten a little. Most of the day would be relaxing and give him time to think. The sudden clatter of a tray on the table made them all jump. Hatori had set his tray down and was sitting down next to Chiaki.

"Tori! I'm glad you accepted my offer of sitting with us!" Chiaki welcomed him. This was certainly interesting. Chiaki and Hatori must have been finally connecting. "This is Takano-san! He's new here."

"Hi," Hatroi said shortly, nodding to Takano before quietly going back to his breakfast. He seemed much more calmer. Rumor has it that when going through the first stages of withdrawal, Hatroi had been a terror.

Half an hour later, Ritsu found himself seated in group therapy. Nowaki had Takano introduce himself to everybody, and he was encouraged to share the reason he was here if he wanted to. rRitsu couldn't help but look up curiously as the older boy stood up and bowed.

"I'm Takano Masumune," He said, before stating gravely, "And I'm here because I failed to kill myself."

Everybody was silent. Ritsu felt his heart pounding, looking at the floor as Takano sat back down again. He'd had some sort of idea that it was depression, but it hurt to hear something like this. He and Takano were really in the very same situation...they were both stuck in lives that were not worth living.

That was the worst part of the session. After that, they had a long discussion about fear and ways to overcome it. They all had to write down a fear. Sharing it out loud earned you a point, but it was only voluntary. Because he was one more point from earning another trip to the library, Ritsu shared his out loud.

"I'm scared to talk to my parents. Especially my mother," He told everybody. "I haven't seen them since I...came here."

"What way do you think is best to overcome this fear?" Nowaki asked.

Ritsu sighed. "I guess just get it over with. But I really dont want to." He looked down again as an indication that he was done talking about it.

"Alright Ritsu, you get a point. Looks like you can go to the library later. Now who else wants to share?"

Ritsu felt his thoughts wander to his roommate as Kisa stated, "I'm afraid of lunch."

When the session ended and there was free time, Ritsu quickly went to his room and sat on his bed. He was joined seconds later by Takano, who stood in the middle of the room and looked at him. Ritsu stared back.

"Why do you want to die?"

Takano raised an eyebrow. "Why are you asking?"

"I just...I don't know. Or maybe I do. I'm here for overdosing. Obviously my plan failed…"

Takano didn't respond, so Ritsu continued.

"I keep thinking about when I get out of here. Will I go back and do it again? Or should I actually try at life? I guess I just wondered if you were thinking the same things…"

Another terrible silence commenced, and Ritsu felt his face flame up in embarrassment. He should have just kept his mouth shut. Then, much to his surprise, Takano slowly walked over and sat on the bed next to him.

"I'm alone in this world. That's why I tried taking pills too. I was going to hang myself, but I wanted to die in my bed, under my covers where it's warm."

Ritsu felt his throat choke up. "We're both trapped."

Tears fell silently down his face, and he startled when a cool hand brushed over his cheeks to wipe them away.

"_Sweetheart, you're starving yourself! It's not healthy!" That was what Kisa's mother had said when she found all of the diet pills in his dresser drawer. He didn't understand why her eyes were welled with tears. Didn't she understand how much he needed to do this?_

Kisa hated his body. He was too short and much too baby faced. No matter what he did, he could never seem to get rid of that extra body fat. He knew what he was doing was wrong, but this was really the only option. Before refusing to eat, he had tried everything. Exercise, dieting, weight loss pills. Everytime he looked in the mirror, he saw his chubby cheeks.

He was attracted to beautiful people. They were his role models. Kisa could spend hours looking at gorgeous people's faces. He only wished that his own face could be stunning. At first it had been just a strict diet. But when the diet wasn't enough, he had to start skipping meals. By then, every time he took a bite of something, he could feel it filling him up and making him fat. It was disgusting and horrible.

But of course he had collapsed, and his parents had found out. Now he was stuck here and he would be a prisoner until he gained at least fifteen pounds. This place wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't constantly watched and weighed daily to monitor his weight.

After group therapy, Kisa had his personal therapist appointment. That was on the fifth floor. He had to take an elevator there. At least the nurses trusted him to make it there on his own now. Once he had reached the fifth floor, the doors opened and something unexpected happened.

Kisa came face to face with the most beautiful boy he had ever set eyes on.

**Sorry it's been so long, the holidays were chaotic. I hope some of you are still interested in this story! Let me know if you are!**


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